ABC or Onion News? Game Round 2!

It´s time for another round of the game that puts your AP Spidey Senses to the test!

Remember the rules, kids:

1.  View story.

2.  Shift uncomfortably in chair.

3.  Guess:  The Onion or ABC?

4.  Prepare to be either relieved or saddened.

5.  Scroll down for answer.

Here´s the puzzle:

The clock is ticking.  Many of them.  All over the world.

Anyway, what do you think the answer could possibly be??

Let´s see....

Damn.  Better go home and hang yourself.

It´s close to election.  Be sure to check back in for our next round!

Bend it like a Limp Dick.

Who could this 'awkward' model be?

Hmmmm....thinking.  Surely it'll be a freakish shocker.  Maybe she has a major case of shelf-ass or something.

Ok, let's take a look:

Introducing another new game: "ABC or Onion News?"

The game is simple, kids!

1.  View story.

2.  Shift uncomfortably in chair.

3.  Guess:  The Onion or ABC?

4.  Prepare to be either relieved or saddened.

5.  Scroll down for answer.

First Round!

Well?  Who is it?

:*(.  Time to go home and resist urge to lop off your neighbor's dog's balls.